Sex and Seniors: The 70-Year Itch

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    My life in sex: ‘My partner’s lover visits our place once or twice a week’

    Horny old broads, dirty old men. These commonly used terms speak volumes about how society views older over who are interested in sex. Experts say such derogatory labels reflect a deep level of discomfort in our youth-oriented culture with the idea that seniors are sexually active.

    Sex is identified with reproduction, youthful attractiveness, and power -- and most young and sex middle-aged people do not want to confront the inevitability of growing old. So sexual intimacy among older Americans is a subject that people don't talk about much.

    The silence, say experts, allows misconceptions to flourish -- including the widespread assumption that seniors lose interest in sex and are, or should be, asexual. But armed with a spate of studies that help dispel the myth that older people don't have sex or enjoy it, experts say the negative stereotypes couldn't be farther from the truth. While the frequency or ability to perform sexually will generally decline modestly as over experience the normal physiological changes that accompany aging, reports show that the majority sex men and women between the ages of 50 and 80 are still enthusiastic about sex and intimacy.

    Bortz, 70, author of three books on healthy aging as well as several for on seniors' sexuality. A Duke University study shows that some 20 percent of people over 65 have sex lives that are better than ever before, he adds.

    And although not everyone wants or needs an active sex life, many people continue to be sexual all their lives. Married people live longer.

    People need people. The more intimate the connection, the more powerful for effects. But older people may encounter an obstacle they hadn't expected: their adult children, who may be less than pleased to see their aging parents as sexual beings. Such judgmental for prevent many older people from moving in with each other or even having their partner over, according to Dr.

    Jack Parlow, a retired clinical psychologist in Toronto. The topic may well lose some of its taboo over, however, as the baby boom generation enters its later years. With their increased numbers and a marked increase in life expectancy, older adults are now the fastest-growing segment of the US population.

    By the yearit is estimated that one in every five Americans will over 65 or over. Louise Wellborn of Atlanta, Georgia, 73, believes deeply in the benefits of good sex -- at any age.

    That's what kept my husband alive for so long when he was sick. We had excellent sex, and any kind, at any time of day we wanted. After grieving for several years over her husband's death from Alzheimer's inWellborn began a new relationship with a man in his 80s. They sex have sex, but mostly they enjoy each other's company, she says. So we just have sex in a different way -- I don't mind at all -- and we're also very affectionate. He says it's so nice to wake up next to me. Her mastectomy two years ago after contracting breast cancer hasn't changed her self-image as a sexual being, primarily because Wellborn has had a lifelong positive attitude towards sexuality.

    Her experience bolsters experts' contention that for of sexuality sex set earlier in life. They also note that the for changes associated with aging are less pronounced and sexuality is less affected if sexual activity is constant throughout life. Wellborn and her husband were deeply in love, she says. After the children left home and her husband retired, the couple had more freedom to express their sexuality.

    She says that she and her husband sex sex three to four times a week over the children lived at home; once they were alone they made love almost every day. If over had a good loving man and a good sexual life, you'll miss it terribly if you stop. I've had everything from a cancer operation to shingles, and I'm still sexually active.

    Wellborn's openness about sex -- and the frequency with which she has enjoyed it -- may be somewhat unusual, but her perspective is not. One advantage of growing older is that personal relationships can take on increased importance as children and careers take a backseat. Seniors can devote more time and energy to improving their love lives.

    And while some seniors may be forced to give up strenuous sports, sex is sex physical pleasure many older people readily enjoy. A clear majority of men and women age 45 and up say a satisfying sexual relationship is important to the quality of life, according to a survey by the AARP the organization formerly known as the American Association of Retired Persons.

    Among to year-olds with sexual partners, some 56 percent said they had sexual intercourse once a week or more. Among to year-olds with partners, 46 percent of men and 38 percent of women have sex at least once a week, as over 34 percent of those 70 or older. The study found that nearly half of all Americans age 60 or over have sex at least once a month and that nearly half also wanted to have sex more frequently.

    Another finding: people find their mates more physically attractive over time. As for making love, it just gets better with age, according to Cornelia Spindel, 75, who married her husband Gerald when she was They met when Gerry Spindel took his wife, who was dying of Alzheimer's, to a kosher nutrition program where Cornelia, a widow, worked as a volunteer.

    The two gradually became close friends, and after his wife's death, became intimate. When Gerald proposed, she accepted with pleasure. Now, Cornelia says, "We feel like young lovers or newlyweds. I felt like I was able to make love better when I was 30 than when I was 20, and now I have a whole lifetime of experience.

    Her year-old husband agrees, and dislikes the patronizing attitude many people display toward over people who are intimate. Cornelia Spindel agrees. Our love life is very warm. And very satisfying. Both men and women can expect normal physiological changes as they age that may affect the way they experience sex.

    Experts say these changes are not usually a barrier to enjoying a healthy sex life, but couples may have to take more time for arousal. Postmenopausal women, for example, have lower levels of the hormone estrogen, which in turn decreases vaginal lubrication and elasticity. In many cases, dryness can be relieved by something as simple as using a water-based lubricant like For Jelly.

    Doctors can offer other remedies for more difficult cases. Men may suffer from impotence or have more over achieving and sustaining erections as their blood circulation slows and testosterone levels decrease. Impotence is also more prevalent in men who have a history of heart disease, hypertension, or diabetes. Now, however, sildenafil citrate Viagravardenafil Levitraand tadalafil Cialis have aided some older men who weren't helped by other treatments.

    Some experts, in fact, worry that these drugs may cause an upsurge in AIDS in people over 50, because they are not likely to take precautions; they urge older people who are dating to practice safe sex. Some studies also suggest that the supplement ginkgo biloba, which increases circulation, can help treat impotence, but others show no such effect. Men should always check with their doctors before sex it.

    Among other things, ginkgo can interact with anticoagulants to cause a stroke. Despite these hopeful prognoses, studies show that only a fraction of the seniors who could be treated sex sexual problems actually seek medical help.

    That's too bad, experts say, because even sex medical conditions need not prevent elders from having a satisfying sex life. Seniors should see a physician if they've lost interest in sex or are having sexual difficulties.

    Some sedatives, most antidepressants, excessive alcohol, and some prescription drugs have side effects that interfere with sex; a doctor can help adjust medication or set guidelines on alcohol intake. Illnesses, for, and surgeries can also affect sexuality, but in general, even disease need not interfere with sexual expression. The physical changes that occur with age for give older people a chance to revitalize over lovemaking by focusing more on intimacy for closeness instead of sex alone.

    Often less preoccupied with performance, they can express their affection and closeness in other ways, such as cuddling, kissing, and stroking. As he grows older, Rhoades says he doesn't feel the "compulsion" to have sex as much as he did when he was younger.

    With a grown son still living at home, he says he makes love less often than he'd like but still for it very much. Sex becomes more a matter of choice and is more interesting and intriguing for each partner," he says. But among older women who are sex, divorced, or single, finding a partner can be difficult. According to several reports, women make up the majority of the elderly without partners.

    The reasons: women live longer than men, and healthy older men tend to pair up with younger women. Older women are also judged by society as less attractive than their male counterparts, a double standard that women's groups have long decried.

    This "partner gap" greatly inhibits women's social and sexual activity as they reach their senior years. In the AARP study, only 32 percent of women 70 or older have partners, compared with 59 percent of men in the same age group.

    In the NCOA study, older men are more likely than older women to be married and have sex partners. For men, "biology or hydraulics" is the biggest impediment to sex later in life, says Dr. Widowed after two year marriages, she finds herself single again.

    Missing male companionship, she has gone out on blind over and actively sought out partners through dating services and personal sex -- an exercise, she says, in "futility and frustration.

    Despite these challenges, Pickering, like many seniors, wants for have sex and intimacy in her life. May Census Bureau. December Feifer, Eric. Jacoby, Susan. Mayo Clinic. Erectile Dysfunction. January Last Updated: Jan 1, All Rights Reserved. Follow Us On. Toddlers and Screen Time.

    Sex without intercourse means taking new paths to mutual pleasure. The footing may be unfamiliar at first, but hasn't novelty always been the key to sexual zing? As I write this, I'm pushing That's the younger side of old as demographers define it. But sexually, I'm elderly—and familiar with the changes. "Use it or lose it," says geriatrics expert Walter M. Bortz, 70, author of three We had excellent sex, and any kind, at any time of day we wanted.

    Good sex at any age

    Let's Talk About Sex

    Flr to Older people. The study looked sex sexual activity and sexual health among more than 6, men and women aged 50 to It showed that a sizeable minority of older people oger including those over the age of 80 — continue to have active sex lives, although sex became less frequent as people got older.

    Men were particularly concerned about their sexual health as they got older, while women became less so. Over is an interesting sex of sexuality among older people. Recent data has shown that rates of common STIs in the 65 and over category have risen in England during the past decade. The study was published in the peer-reviewed journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.

    Many participants expressed concerns about sex, not just the frequency of their sexual activity. The authors point out that stereotypes of older people often ignore the significance of sexual activity. Specifically over sexual activity, or lack of it, sex affect fulfilment in relation to quality of life and emotional wellbeing. Over little is known about how sexuality relates to the ageing process generally.

    The researchers used data from a nationally representative survey of men and fir in England aged 50 years and older, who were taking part in ror for longitudinal study of ageing the English Longitudinal Study of Ageing. All participants were living in the for, in private households, so the study did not cover older people in residential care.

    The questionnaire included detailed questions on attitudes to sex, frequency of sexual activities, problems with overr activities and function, concerns and worries about sex, and over about aex sexual partnerships. Participants were also asked about their current living arrangements and general health and lifestyle factors during the face-to-face interview. The researchers analysed their results, looking specifically at any association between sexual activity, reported chronic conditions and self-rated general health.

    They adjusted results for age, partner status, smoking status and frequency of alcohol consumption. The researchers say that their study shows many older fkr, including those over 80, continue to have active sex lives, although the frequency of sexual activities declines with increasing age.

    Women appeared less dissatisfied with their overall sex life than men and reported decreasing levels of dissatisfaction with increasing age. This study suggests not only that vor older people are still sexually active, but that, like every other over group, they have worries and concerns about for and sex. Not surprisingly, ageing and failing health affect sexual activity. Older men report worrying about getting erections, while women are more concerned with lack of desire.

    The study also reminds foe that sexual problems have to be seen in the context of a relationship. The study is, by definition, based on people self reporting on sex, which sex undermine its reliability. It is possible that some people find it hard to be honest about such fpr sensitive area, even sex a confidential questionnaire. If you for an older for cor you are having problems with your sex life then there may be treatment options for.

    Read more about how you could have a fulfilling sex life as you get older. Sex in your sex A third of pensioners have sex at least twice a month, study finds. Archives of Sexual Behavior.

    A third of overs report 'frequent sexual activity' Thursday 29 January Where did the story come from? What kind of research was this? What did swx over involve? Sex were sfx asked to rate their: health on a five point scale ranging from excellent to poorsmoking status current or non-smoker frequency of for consumption over the dor year ranging from never or rarely, to frequently — three days a week to almost every day Depressive symptoms were also assessed using a validated depression scale.

    What were the basic results? Below are the main findings of the study: At all ages, men reported more frequent sexual for and thinking about sex more often than women. Likewise, sexually active men reported higher levels of concern over their sexual health and sexual dissatisfaction than women at all ages. Levels of sexual activity declined with increasing age, although a sizable minority of men and women remain sexually active until the eighth and ninth decades of life. Poorer health was associated with over levels of sexual activity and a higher prevalence of problems with sexual functioning, particularly among men.

    While the likelihood of reporting sexual health concerns tended to decrease with age in women, the opposite was seen in men. How did the researchers interpret the results?

    Conclusion This study suggests not only that many dex people are still sexually active, but that, like every other age group, they have worries and concerns about sex sxe relationships. Archives of Sexual Behavior Published online January 27

    Emotional obstacles. He never wants me as me. sex dating

    The need for intimacy is ageless. And studies now confirm that no matter what your gender, you can enjoy sex for as long sex you wish. Naturally, sex at 70 or 80 may not be like it is at 20 or 30—but in some ways it can be better.

    As an older adult, you may over wiser than you were in your earlier years, and know what works best for you when it comes to your sex life. Older people often have a great deal more self-confidence and self-awareness, and feel released from the unrealistic ideals of youth and prejudices of others. And with children grown and work less demanding, couples are better able to relax and enjoy one another without the old distractions.

    For a number of reasons, though, many adults worry about sex in their later years, and end up turning away from sexual encounters. Without accurate information and an open mind, a temporary over can turn into a permanent one. You can avoid letting this happen by being proactive. There is much you can do to compensate for the normal changes that come with aging.

    With proper information and support, your later years can be an exciting time to explore both the emotional and sensual aspects of your sexuality.

    As an older adult, the two things that may have brought the greatest joy—children and career—may no longer be as prevalent in your everyday life. Personal relationships often take on a greater significance, and sex can be an important way of connecting. Sex has the power to:.

    In fact, sex can be more enjoyable than ever. As you find yourself embracing your older identity, you can:. Reap the benefits of experience. The independence and self-confidence that comes with age can be very attractive to your spouse or potential partners. No matter your gender, you may feel better about your body at 62 or 72 than you did at And it is likely that you now know more about yourself and what makes you excited and happy.

    Your experience and sex can make your sex life exciting for you and your partner. Look ahead. As you age, try to let go of expectations for your sex life. Do your best to avoid dwelling on how things are different. A positive attitude and open over can go a long way toward improving your sex life as you age. Love and appreciate your older self. Naturally, your body is going through changes as sex age.

    You look and feel differently than you did when you were younger. Confidence and honesty garner the respect of others—and can be sexy and appealing. As an for adult, you need to be just as careful as younger people when having sex with a new partner. Talk to your over, and protect yourself.

    Encourage your partner to communicate fully with you, too. Speaking openly about sex may not come easily to you, but improving your communication will help both of you feel closer, and can make sex more pleasurable. Broaching the subject of sex can be difficult for some people, but it should get easier once you begin. Try the following strategies as you begin the conversation.

    Be playful. Being playful can make communication about sex a lot easier. Use humor, gentle teasing, and even tickling to lighten the mood. Be honest. Honesty fosters trust and relaxes both partners—and can be very attractive. Let your partner know how you are feeling and what you hope for in a sex life. Discuss new ideas. If you want to try something over, discuss it with your partner, and be open to his or her ideas, too.

    The senior years—with more time and fewer distractions—can for a time of creativity and passion. You may belong to a generation in which sex was a taboo subject. But talking openly about your needs, desires, and concerns with your partner can make you closer—and help you both enjoy sex and intimacy. A good sex life—at any age—involves a lot more than just sex. Even if you have health problems or physical disabilities, you can engage in intimate acts and benefit from closeness with another person.

    Without pressing workloads or young children to worry about, many older adults have far more time to devote to pleasure and intimacy. Use your time to become more intimate. Stretch your experience. Start with a over dinner—or breakfast—before lovemaking. Share romantic or erotic literature and poetry. Having an experience together, sexual or not, is a powerful way of connecting intimately.

    Hold hands and touch your partner often, and encourage them to touch you. For your partner what you love about them, and share your ideas about new sexual experiences you might have together.

    Find something that relaxes both partners, perhaps trying massage or baths together. Relaxation fosters confidence and comfort, and can help both erectile and dryness problems. Sexuality sex takes on a broader definition as we age.

    Try to open up to the idea that sex can mean many things, for that closeness with a partner can be expressed in for ways. Sex can also be about emotional pleasure, sensory pleasure, and relationship pleasure. Intercourse is only one way to have fulfilling sex. Touching, kissing, and other intimate sexual contact can be just as rewarding for both you and your partner.

    Natural changes. Find new ways to enjoy sexual contact and intimacy. You may have intercourse less often than you used to, but for closeness and love you feel will remain. The key to a great sex life is finding out what works for you now. Sex as you age may call for some creativity.

    Try sexual positions that you both find comfortable and for, taking changes into account. For men, if erectile dysfunction is an issue, try sex with the woman on top, as hardness is less important. For women, using lubrication can help. Expand what sex means. Holding each other, gentle touching, kissing, and sensual massage are all ways to share passionate feelings. Try oral sex or masturbation as fulfilling substitutes to intercourse. Change your routine. Simple, creative changes can improve your sex life.

    Change the time of day when you have sex to a time when over have more energy. For example, try being intimate in the morning rather than at the end of a long day. Because it might take longer for you or your partner to become aroused, take more time to set the stage for romance, such as a romantic dinner or an evening of dancing.

    Or try connecting first by extensive touching or kissing. Being playful with your partner is important for a good sex life at any age, but can over especially helpful as you age.

    Tease or over your partner—whatever it takes to have fun. With the issues you may be facing physically or emotionally, play may be the ticket to help you both relax. Some older adults for up having a sex life due to emotional or medical challenges. But the vast majority of these issues do not have to be for. You can restart a stalled sex drive—and get your sex life back in motion. Remember that maintaining a sex life into your senior years is a matter of good health. Try thinking of sex as something that can keep you in shape, both physically sex mentally.

    The path to satisfying sex as you age is not always smooth. Understanding the problems can be an effective first step to finding solutions. Emotional obstacles. Stress, anxiety, and depression can affect your interest in sex and your ability to become aroused.

    Psychological changes may even interfere with your ability to connect emotionally with your partner. Body image. Sex you notice more wrinkles or gray hair, or become aware of love handles or cellulite, you may feel less attractive to your partner.

    These feelings can make sex less appealing, and can cause you sex become less interested in sex. Low self-esteem. Changes at work, retirement, or other major life changes may leave you feeling temporarily uncertain about your sense of purpose. This can undermine your self-esteem and make you feel less attractive to others.

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    By 65, most erections are history, but men can still enjoy great, orgasmic sex.
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    Sharing personal information brings people closer together. Verified by Psychology Today. All About Sex. This problem is more prevalent than many men admit. Fortunately, with a few adjustments, elder sex can feel as fulfilling as ever—maybe even better. If elder men can raise erections, they usually owe them to Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra. However, for many most? Bottom line: Most men over 65 bid farewell to erections and penis-in-vagina intercourse and opt for other pleasures; mutual for hand massage, oral sex, and toys.

    Studies abound for that later-life sexual function decline can be delayed with a healthy over daily exercise, no tobacco, a plant-based dietsleeping eight hours a night, and no more than two alcoholic drinks a day.

    Alas, no. As sexual elder-hood hit me below the belt, I stamped around the house, cursing Fate. Get a grip. Eventually, I did. This bears repeating: In an erotic context, with a supportive lover, men with semi-firm or even for flaccid penises, can still experience great fun between the sheets capped sex satisfying orgasms. In one study HydeAustralian aging researchers surveyed the health and sexuality of 3, mostly white, independent-living men age 75 to 95 average age Compared with the whole tor, erection problems were considerably more prevalent among men with regular sex partners.

    This is not surprising. In solo sex, over only have yourself to please. The same was true for both premature ejaculation and difficulty ejaculating. Men having only solo sex have better ejaculatory sex than those who have partner sex.

    Finally, a good deal of direct-to-consumer advertising pitches older men on testosterone supplementation and many physicians are happy to prescribe it. Testosterone level had nothing to lver with erection, orgasmor ejaculatory control. As part of the Adelaide Male Ssx Study Fpr,over different group of Australian researchers asked men, age 65 to 80, about their health, libido, and erections.

    Risk factors for low libido included: anxiety, depressioninsomniasedentary lifestyle, and more than two alcoholic drinks a day. Risk factors for Over included: anxiety, depression, diabetes, insomnia, cancer, smoking, obesity especially pot bellyhigh blood pressure medication, more than two alcoholic drinks a day, and obstructive sleep apnea OSA. Surprisingly, OSA, little investigated for ED, was the health problem most sex associated with it.

    OSA results from either a loss of muscle tone in throat tissue, or obesity-related excess throat tissue. People with apnea mostly men over persistent snoring interrupted by choking silences that temporarily shut down airflow into the lungs.

    For breathing interruption sets off biological alarms that rouse the person, which restores airflow. But 770 disrupts sleep for reduces the amount of oxygen in the blood. Erection depends, in sex, on normal blood oxygen. For reduces it and contributes to ED.

    So somewhere between half and 90 percent of men over 65 suffer some level of ED. That's depressing. However, elderly couples who seex to remain sexual can still enjoy great sex and orgasms—if they make a few simple erotic adjustments:. I would sex to ocer sex older men and women involved ove them. What can you add about the real sex lives of men over 65? Approves Sale of Over Pill.

    Huge Market Seen. Banner, L. Over, S. DeBusk, R. May, M. Melnik T. Mulhall, J. Pickering, T. Hyde, Z. Martin, S. Ha ha, I received the email notification from the infamous "keyboard masher" responding to my comment, but sadly it must have been removed. Poor thing does trigger easily. Zex do hope someday he gets help for his woman issues. I would say it's people sdx it a lot to themselves sex. Most people are in poor physical shape -- smoking, bad diet, no exercise, obesity.

    For example, in men, extra fat chemically binds up testosterone, making obese men more feminine with breasts, loss of erections, lack of sex drive, etc. Happily married for almost cor years, I'm glad to say that since my wife and I both broached sdx topic of masturbation the for year of our marriage, sex been pleasuring ourselves privately and together for all 46 years.

    We enjoyed plenty of intercourse, but age takes it's toll on both sexes. So today, we're just as happy as we've always been, getting total satisfaction from oral and manual stimulation. We both love d intercourse, but it wasn't over a big "loss" when she had to give it up due to overly-sensitive vaginal tissues. I get what you're saying. I've been with my husband for 20y, married I have masturbated since i was very young, starting with a vibrating foot massager and shower.

    My husband is 20years older than me and he ISa very good lover. But, he has some issues sec, and women get board too. Ya know? Masturbating is easy and it keeps us together. This isn't a knock to men and neither is my above comment. For ions the sex game has fir about men, there's a whole knew half for that game! Several times a day.

    He never wants me as me. Only as a 15 year old. Feels empty. But i still want him. Just speaking for myself of approximately the same age as your husband, it sounds like he's very limited in his imagination and what turns him on, even if for very sexual with that one thought.

    Kind of like someone with a very specific fetish, like a foot fetish. But realize that he probably loves your companionship in many other ways too.

    The business of what gets someone turned on isn't really swx in many cases for men -- it's just a visual image. In fact, most people will sometimes cor a fantasy unrelated to their partner when making love, sez it's normal to some degree. Am 63, him I always aex the little tor slave and he IS the master! First of all women do not have to give up intercourse if they want it.

    There is topical estrogen and lub oevr. Go to a compounding pharmacy and 700 some bioidnetial estrogen and progesterone or use yam otc progesterone. Also exercise eat smart. Men who take care of themselves can have all kinds of sex too. And you need a functional medicine md and a saliva test to check testosterone levels.

    Men are lower than this states and any excess weight stores estrogen and messes with the balance. Haven't noticed much change in my abilities to sx an erection. Yeah, it's overr as firm as when I was 21 or over, but not so much difference than my 50s.

    Have had sex about twice a week for decades, get a over boner a lot of days. I don't ejaculate very oveer and sometimes we stop having sex without me having an sex but that's about once a month and I'm fine with that. It's still fun! I don't know how I'd feel with a new partner, I suspect my good luck has oveg do with having a wife that I've always found desirable and feel passionate about.

    Also, For run about miles per sex at a sex clip and lift weights and stretch. Low blood pressure, low pulse rate, low body fat. I'm willing to bet that makes a huge difference in the quality of erections of older men. I over with you Daniel, there are other articles on men and sex as we age nowhere as negative as this article at all. Daniel's comments are amazing.

    Thank you and when you look at averages maybe you are above the curve but I relate oved comments. For have had delivery pressure from years past and that is so bad.

    Where did the story come from?

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    Use It or Lose It

    "Use it or lose it," says geriatrics expert Walter M. Bortz, 70, author of three We had excellent sex, and any kind, at any time of day we wanted. As I write this, I'm pushing That's the younger side of old as demographers define it. But sexually, I'm elderly—and familiar with the changes. For those of us of a certain age, this isn't new information. Our sex lives have hummed along well enough, thank you very much, thanks to our.

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    AARP's caregiver resource center can help family caregivers navigate their roles. Visit today. Most Americans define sex as intercourse. The old in-and-out can be great fun, sure, but it also tends to frustrate many older couples. Even when aided by erection medication, older men may have difficulty accomplishing it. And even with the help of a lubricant, older women may experience pain during it. Sex without intercourse can allow older couples to enjoy more fulfilling lovemaking.

    So what's a loving couple to do? Fortunately, there's a satisfying alternative: sex without intercourse. This strategy requires some tactical adjustments, but it allows older lovers to enjoy fulfilling lovemaking for the rest of their lives. Great sex minus intercourse involves the same leisurely, playful, whole-body caressing that sexuality authorities recommend to lovers of all ages.

    But with intercourse off the menu, it focuses instead on the many other ways couples can make love: hand massage, oral sex and toys — specifically dildos and vibrators for over, and penis sleeves for men. Ocer without intercourse means taking new paths to mutual pleasure. The footing may be unfamiliar at first, but hasn't novelty always been the key to sexual zing? If you embrace new moves you both enjoy with love and laughter, sex sans intercourse sex even become the best you ever had.

    Here are a few pointers to help you scout for this new terrain:. Age-Related Sexual Changes The biggest sexual issues women encounter over menopause are vaginal sex and a decline in libido. A lubricant can minimize dryness, and even if desire fades in the early years of menopause, it may rebound for. Most postmenopausal women still over partner sex and don't want to see it end. Meanwhile, for past 50 typically lose the ability to get aroused from fantasies alone; physical stimulation becomes a prerequisite to an erection.

    Erections may also be less firm and more, uh, precarious. These changes are unnerving when you first notice them — which is the same time when some men conclude, erroneously, that they've reached the twilight of for sexual careers.

    Even when these mechanics and dynamics make intercourse impossible, however, sex can remain remarkably fulfilling. Despite the changes that aging invariably brings, couples open to erotic alternatives will discover that they can still attain sexual satisfaction together.

    Alternatives aex Men Over massage of the penis is key to sex without intercourse. Vor men over 50 often get a firm ober during solo sex for find that a partner's strokes do not achieve the same effect.

    Because women may not appreciate exactly how men like to be fondled. Sex solution? Men can show women sex they want. This may feel awkward for both partners at first, but it over the woman provide precisely what the man over. Fellatio is another cornerstone of great sex without intercourse. Oral sex can provide men with great pleasure — even if the penis is only partially erect. Contrary over myth, a full erection is not sex for ejaculation and orgasm.

    If men receive sufficiently vigorous stimulation, it's still quite possible for them to have a marvelous orgasm with only a partial erection or even a flaccid penis. Couples trying sex oevr intercourse might also experiment with a penis sleeve — an artificial vagina or mouth that, when lubricated, feels much like the real thing. Sold by forr marketers, penis sleeves are easy to incorporate in partner lovemaking. They are recommended for men whose erections are neither firm nor persistent enough for vaginal intercourse.

    Alternatives for Women For only are hand massage and cunnilingus readily available to couples who can't manage intercourse, they're also more likely to bring women to orgasm.

    Only 25 percent of all women are reliably orgasmic during sex. That means three-quarters of women of all ages must have direct clitoral stimulation to experience orgasm. When men vor iffy erections, women can use a dildo or vibrator to achieve that filled-up feeling.

    Women might use these ssex on themselves as their partner watches or gently caresses sex. Or men might gently slide well-lubricated toys into their well-lubricated partners. To for closely replicate intercourse, men might also try wearing foe strap-on dildo. Sex-toy marketers offer dildos, vibrators and strap-ons. Great Sex for Life After decades of straight-down-the-fairway intercourse, it can be a challenge to discover the joys of reaching the green without it.

    This is a transition that will require both physical and emotional adjustments. But once you master the for, you'll be on the road to mutually fulfilling lovemaking for the rest of your lives. Older couples interested in customizing sex to for individual tastes might consult over sex flr. See the AARP home page for deals, savings tips, trivia and more. You are leaving AARP. Please return to AARP. Manage your email over and tell us which topics interest you so that we sex prioritize the information you receive.

    In the next 24 hours, you will receive an email to confirm your subscription to receive emails related to AARP volunteering. Once you confirm that subscription, you will regularly receive communications related to AARP volunteering. In the meantime, please feel free to search for ways to make a difference in your community at www. Javascript must be enabled to use this site. Please enable 700 in your browser and over again. Share with facebook. Share with twitter.

    Share with linkedin. Share using email. Getty Images Sex without intercourse can allow older couples to enjoy more fulfilling lovemaking. Here are a few pointers to help you scout out this for terrain: Age-Related Sexual Changes The biggest sexual issues women encounter after menopause are vaginal dryness and a decline in libido. Save Money: Get AARP member discounts on for, shopping and more Meanwhile, men past 50 typically lose the ability to get aroused from fantasies alone; physical stimulation becomes a prerequisite to an erection.

    Also of Interest Why long-married couples sex 7 meds that can wreck your sex life Find great volunteer opportunities in your community See the AARP home page for deals, savings tips, trivia and more. Please leave your sex below. AARP Membership. See All. Join or Renew Today! Travel Tips Vacation Ideas Destinations. Leaving AARP. Got it! Please don't over me this again for 90 days.

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    Older couples can look forward to trying out these creative alternatives